Fic: Contrition, SGA, Day 4

Title: Contrition
Author: Claire
Fandom: Stargate: Atlantis
Pairing: Sheppard / McKay

It's wrong. She knows it is. But Elizabeth still doesn't stop herself from connecting her laptop to the Ancient mainframe, from using her command codes to gain access to the surveillance system.

She'd denied herself for so long – all too aware of the chain of command, of the fact that she was the leader of the expedition. She'd held out, focusing on her job, on her position, on Simon. Focussing on anything that let her ignore the need running through her, the want, the desire.

When she'd finally let herself realise that she didn't have to be alone, that the no-longer painful memories of Simon weren't holding her back, she'd looked at the only two people she could. She'd looked at John Sheppard and Rodney McKay – both men she was attracted to, both men she could depend on. Looked at them both in the hopes of seeing one of them looking back. Looked at them both only to find out that neither of them were looking at her at all.

John--

The screen in front of her flares to life.

Yes--

Bodies move on the bed, tangled and covered in sweat.

Please--

Feeling a faint blush of shame, Elizabeth's hand slips into her trousers, fingers pressing inside herself.

More--

She moves with the men she is watching. Fingers dancing over her clit as Rodney thrusts into John.

She knows she shouldn't do this, knows she has no right to take this from them. But they turned away from her. They turned away from her and towards each other. And now, as they push each other to the edge and Elizabeth's orgasm washes over her in a wave of arousal and contrition, she knows it's all she has.